An Open Window
The gifts (and curses) of social media in youth ministry
When I graduated in spring 2004 with my degree in youth ministry, I had no idea that Mark Zuckerburg had forever changed the world and how we interact with one another.
I landed my first youth pastor position that summer, and few people had even heard of Facebook, myself included. I had no idea how much the company he started from his dorm room was going to change the way I did my profession when I left my dorm for good.
Effectiveness as a student-ministries pastor largely depends on our ability to communicate and connect with students and parents, while at the same time working within the boundaries of a church staff team. I’m old enough to remember my days as a student and what communication and connectedness looked like then: We received newsletters in the mail, picked up fliers advertising events and had a phone directory. Our youth pastor would come to our extra-curricular activities or take us to lunch in the summer if he wanted to connect with us on our turf.
Today as a youth pastor, I’ve had to do those things and become jack-of-all-trades when it comes to social media. Admittedly, social media is a gift and a curse.
The gift of social media
Social media has given me a window into the lives of students that was never available before. Depending on how much they use Facebook, Twitter and Instagram (as those are the only platforms I use), I can see what they’re up to in real time: I can discern their interests; I’m aware of their friends and associates; and I can track what they’re thinking about and how they’re feeling.
Following our students on social media has become one of the greatest ministry resources available to youth workers. We don’t have to rely as heavily on polls or articles by national ministry periodicals.
Moreover, we don’t have to wait until Sunday morning or a midweek gathering—or when we take a student to lunch—to speak into their lives. We can engage and interact with them from the comfort of wherever we’re at.
Social media has provided a way for student-ministry pastors to stay connected with students even after they’ve moved on. My potential for impact in their life continues well past their middle-school years.
Likewise, social media has provided a way for us to connect with parents. While many parents are hesitant or flat refuse to get on Facebook or Twitter, that number is quickly dwindling, in my experience.
Long gone are the days when student-ministry leaders would let parents know via the “phone tree” that they had arrived safely to a retreat. Now a simple Facebook status update and tweet on Twitter reaches about three quarters of my parents. There are still a few I have to email, but every time we go on a weeklong or weekend trip, I get at least three new “friend” requests from parents wanting to stay updated.
A year ago I started a blog and discovered that my niche was writing thought-provoking posts directed at parents. Most don’t comment or even “like” the posts, however the amount of face time I’m getting with parents has increased significantly. Since launching the blog, I have had more requests to meet to discuss matters at home with their children, and just more respect because they can tell that I “get” them and am “for” them.
More than ever, parents believe that I’m not just their student’s pastor but a pastor to them as well. If done well, social media is a great tool for parents to see that their student’s pastor is a grown, mature and wise adult worthy of the same respect that is more naturally given to those who pastor adults.
The curse of social media
On the other hand, social media has a unique ability to eat mass quantities of time. As with so many great cultural artifacts throughout human history, there is the temptation to use social media to promote ourselves. We quickly learn how to present a nice, polished version that will attract followers.
Whether it’s portraying ourselves as living the picture perfect life on Instagram or being a little too vulnerable on our tweets and Facebook statuses, those in ministry need to be careful not to create a brand of our personality or to present ourself as some sort of cliché. We need to find the correct balance.
For those in ministry, social media needs to be a means to an end, not an end unto itself. This means, as with anything else, that social media must serve as a pathway for the church body to get to know and love one another, and by doing so honor and love God.
Fortunately for me, the top level of our church leadership recognizes the unique importance of social media to the effectiveness of student ministries, and we are given a little more license to use social media in the workplace.
My greatest concern for students is that social media has become another platform for them to seek affirmation and approval. They need to be steered toward recognizing Jesus as their justification rather than the number of friends, followers, favorites, retweets and likes they get.
At the same time, this concern has led to an unexpected bonus: I’ve started natural conversations with students about the theological concept of justification and our innate need for approval.
Occasionally I confront students about posting inappropriate or questionable content online, but I always do it by affirming who I know them to be (because I have spent time with them face-to-face) and who God says they are—greatly loved and unfathomably accepted.
Bridging the natives and their parents
As for parents, I don’t spend a lot of time trying to educate them on the latest social media tool or why they might use it. Even I struggle at times to keep up with the trends of students on social media—as soon as one site becomes trendy, an exodus away from that one and to a new one begins.
Ten years ago MySpace peaked, at the same time an eventual mass exodus from MySpace to Facebook started. I heard a recent report that declared the median age of Facebook users as 38—not surprising, as many of our high-school students are abandoning Facebook for Twitter. Now, SnapChat threatens to pull current and potential users away from Instagram.
I don’t like to be a fear monger, alerting parents to the perceived dangers of the online world. I actually don’t believe that parents should feel pressured to live in the same digital space as their children.
Instead, I try to help them understand every adolescent’s need for belonging, identity and belief. Whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Xbox-Live or making the soccer team, young people are desperately seeking those three things, and often in that order.
Obviously there is a disconnect between this current generation of tech-savvy teens and young adults, and their predecessors who never had so much access and see no need for it now. The common ground is our set of questions: Where and to whom do I belong, who am I, and what do I believe?
Parents need to feel at liberty to set whatever boundaries they feel are appropriate for their children as stewards of an individual who is nearing adulthood and independence. Yet they must recognize that the only way their children are going to learn to use social media correctly, without being heavily monitored, is when they feel as if they belong to God, find their identity in God, and truly believe that God is a loving and wise heavenly Father who wants what is best for His children.
Cedric is creating a seminar on social media specifically for parents. Contact him for more information: cacjrhighyouth@me.com.
An Open Window
When I graduated in spring 2004 with my degree in youth ministry, I had no idea that Mark Zuckerburg had forever changed the world and how we interact with one another.
I landed my first youth pastor position that summer, and few people had even heard of Facebook, myself included. I had no idea how much the company he started from his dorm room was going to change the way I did my profession when I left my dorm for good.
Effectiveness as a student-ministries pastor largely depends on our ability to communicate and connect with students and parents, while at the same time working within the boundaries of a church staff team. I’m old enough to remember my days as a student and what communication and connectedness looked like then: We received newsletters in the mail, picked up fliers advertising events and had a phone directory. Our youth pastor would come to our extra-curricular activities or take us to lunch in the summer if he wanted to connect with us on our turf.
Today as a youth pastor, I’ve had to do those things and become jack-of-all-trades when it comes to social media. Admittedly, social media is a gift and a curse.
The Gift Of Social Media
Social media has given me a window into the lives of students that was never available before. Depending on how much they use Facebook, Twitter and Instagram (as those are the only platforms I use), I can see what they’re up to in real time: I can discern their interests; I’m aware of their friends and associates; and I can track what they’re thinking about and how they’re feeling.
Following our students on social media has become one of the greatest ministry resources available to youth workers. We don’t have to rely as heavily on polls or articles by national ministry periodicals.
Moreover, we don’t have to wait until Sunday morning or a midweek gathering—or when we take a student to lunch—to speak into their lives. We can engage and interact with them from the comfort of wherever we’re at.
Social media has provided a way for student-ministry pastors to stay connected with students even after they’ve moved on. My potential for impact in their life continues well past their middle-school years.
Likewise, social media has provided a way for us to connect with parents. While many parents are hesitant or flat refuse to get on Facebook or Twitter, that number is quickly dwindling, in my experience.
Long gone are the days when student-ministry leaders would let parents know via the “phone tree” that they had arrived safely to a retreat. Now a simple Facebook status update and tweet on Twitter reaches about three quarters of my parents. There are still a few I have to email, but every time we go on a weeklong or weekend trip, I get at least three new “friend” requests from parents wanting to stay updated.
A year ago I started a blog and discovered that my niche was writing thought-provoking posts directed at parents. Most don’t comment or even “like” the posts, however the amount of face time I’m getting with parents has increased significantly. Since launching the blog, I have had more requests to meet to discuss matters at home with their children, and just more respect because they can tell that I “get” them and am “for” them.
More than ever, parents believe that I’m not just their student’s pastor but a pastor to them as well. If done well, social media is a great tool for parents to see that their student’s pastor is a grown, mature and wise adult worthy of the same respect that is more naturally given to those who pastor adults.
The Curse Of Social Media
On the other hand, social media has a unique ability to eat mass quantities of time. As with so many great cultural artifacts throughout human history, there is the temptation to use social media to promote ourselves. We quickly learn how to present a nice, polished version that will attract followers.
Whether it’s portraying ourselves as living the picture perfect life on Instagram or being a little too vulnerable on our tweets and Facebook statuses, those in ministry need to be careful not to create a brand of our personality or to present ourself as some sort of cliché. We need to find the correct balance.
For those in ministry, social media needs to be a means to an end, not an end unto itself. This means, as with anything else, that social media must serve as a pathway for the church body to get to know and love one another, and by doing so honor and love God.
Fortunately for me, the top level of our church leadership recognizes the unique importance of social media to the effectiveness of student ministries, and we are given a little more license to use social media in the workplace.
My greatest concern for students is that social media has become another platform for them to seek affirmation and approval. They need to be steered toward recognizing Jesus as their justification rather than the number of friends, followers, favorites, retweets and likes they get.
At the same time, this concern has led to an unexpected bonus: I’ve started natural conversations with students about the theological concept of justification and our innate need for approval.
Occasionally I confront students about posting inappropriate or questionable content online, but I always do it by affirming who I know them to be (because I have spent time with them face-to-face) and who God says they are—greatly loved and unfathomably accepted.
Bridging The Natives And Their Parents
As for parents, I don’t spend a lot of time trying to educate them on the latest social media tool or why they might use it. Even I struggle at times to keep up with the trends of students on social media—as soon as one site becomes trendy, an exodus away from that one and to a new one begins.
Ten years ago MySpace peaked, at the same time an eventual mass exodus from MySpace to Facebook started. I heard a recent report that declared the median age of Facebook users as 38—not surprising, as many of our high-school students are abandoning Facebook for Twitter. Now, SnapChat threatens to pull current and potential users away from Instagram.
I don’t like to be a fear monger, alerting parents to the perceived dangers of the online world. I actually don’t believe that parents should feel pressured to live in the same digital space as their children.
Instead, I try to help them understand every adolescent’s need for belonging, identity and belief. Whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Xbox-Live or making the soccer team, young people are desperately seeking those three things, and often in that order.
Obviously there is a disconnect between this current generation of tech-savvy teens and young adults, and their predecessors who never had so much access and see no need for it now. The common ground is our set of questions: Where and to whom do I belong, who am I, and what do I believe?
Parents need to feel at liberty to set whatever boundaries they feel are appropriate for their children as stewards of an individual who is nearing adulthood and independence. Yet they must recognize that the only way their children are going to learn to use social media correctly, without being heavily monitored, is when they feel as if they belong to God, find their identity in God, and truly believe that God is a loving and wise heavenly Father who wants what is best for His children.
Cedric is creating a seminar on social media specifically for parents. Contact him for more information: cacjrhighyouth@me.com.
Cedric Lundy is middle-school pastor at Church at Charlotte (EFCA) in Charlotte, N.C. He is a frequent blogger on all things youth ministry via Wordpress and regular user of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. (“The latter two at the request of my students.”)